It is a long time since I've written on here now. I'm not quite sure how to describe how everything's going because some days I don't even think about Mum, whereas in the first year after she died, I thought about her a lot, and every day. But even if it's less regular or frequent now, it's not much less painful at times. The weirdest thing is being away from home, living here in Australia, and missing Mum - it feels like I should be going back to her when my time is up here, but I know I can't do that.

The other day when I was babysitting I was listening to some terrible song on a compilation CD, very very corny, very Celine Dion - but for some reason it made me think of Mum, and I burst into tears. Ruby, my niece, was sitting on my lap as I'd just given her a bottle of milk. She just looked at me for a moment and then leaned in and laid her head on my shoulder and let me give her a big hug. She's ten months old. I think she's pretty special.